"Seizing the Day: 10 5-Minute Productivity and Mindfulness Tips for Busy Fathers with ADHD"
Balancing work, family, and ADHD symptoms is a formidable challenge for many fathers. Making a meaningful impact in your life, and more importantly, in your family’s lives, can happen in just five minutes! Learn to work smarter, not harder, by building presence into the small, free moments, you have in a busy schedule. Here’s a brief list of time management and mindfulness strategies that, when combined, will help you manage being a busy father with ADHD.
As a busy father myself juggling work and family life while also managing my ADHD, I understand the difficulties of finding balance in my responsibilities. There’s always a pile of to-do’s each day at both work and home that can feel overwhelming on top of the longer term to-do’s and goals. However, by incorporating BOTH mindfulness and productivity techniques into your daily routine you may find a sense of calm amidst the chaos. Our goal here is generate small moments of time to be present within for greater reward.
Why Mindfulness Matters for People with ADHD:
Mindfulness can help ground you in the present moment, allowing you to focus on one task at a time and reduce feelings of being scattered. One significant issue with ADHD’ers is we’re often already on to the “next thing” in our heads while working on the current task. How often have you found yourself thinking, anxiously or excitedly, about the next thing that needs to get done vs focusing on what you’re doing in the present? I do this often when I’m cleaning up the kitchen. I’ll look at the dishes, the messy counter, the dirty cutting board, and a couple of plates on the ground that the dogs helped with, and think, “I don’t have time for this. I need to be getting that work thing done!” And then, of course, while cleaning the kitchen I’m anxious about what I’m not doing and then not really focusing on the dishes and now I’ve dropped and broken something! Let’s look at this in terms of work and spending time with your partner or kids…..
Imagine you’re in a work meeting and all you’re doing is thinking, again, about what you’re not doing? Now you’re going to miss things that were said, maybe have inaccurate notes, which will possibly lead to more anxiety. Now let’s turn that work meeting into a conversation with your partner or a moment when your kids are showing you something they are proud of. What do you think is going to happen? Same thing! You’re going to miss something that was said, and more importantly miss the social and emotional connection you actually need in your life as a people. If you’re not in the present moment both cognitively and emotionally you’re going to miss information, connection, and maybe that golden moment when your kid says, “Look what I found under this rock!”
Why Productivity Techniques Matter for People with ADHD:
Now to be mindful you’re going to need time to actually do the mindful thing. It may help to think of mindfulness and the moments that come of it as requiring both time and energy like any other task. After all, doing one minute of breathing exercises or talking to yourself to let future worries go so you can focus on the present takes both time and energy. Are you noticing that my examples of one minute of breathing and doing a little self aware thinking only takes a moment in a busy day?
Developing small routines in your day to increase your efficiency can radically change how much time you actually have in the day. People with ADHD often become unfocused in the middle area between tasks. I actually have a laminated piece of paper in my shower reminding me to not get lost in thought. When that happens my shower can go from five minutes to fifteen! Or how about the, “What am I supposed to do?” moments we may have when we completely forget how to do the thing we do every day? “Who gets what vitamin?,” or “Who do I need to check in with at work in the morning?” can bleed time out of the day. Having a few techniques to keep you focused and moving through your routines may keep you from distraction thus giving you more time in the day, and hopefully less anxiety and a sense of control.
Productivity through Mindfulness, Mindfulness through Productivity
Pairing mindfulness with productivity techniques can enhance your efficiency and help reduce anxiety throughout the day. Imagine what it would feel like to gain, let’s say, 15 minutes in your day that could then be spent on a bit of calm breathing or cognitive awareness throughout the day. You could probably do that 7-10 times througout the day depending on how long you needed. Would you lose track of time less? Or how about not missing details in a meeting or conversation? Or even better, have the presence to be in the moment for meaningful connection with your family at the end of the day?
MINDFULNESS IS THE BRIDGE BETWEEN CHAOS AND CALM, FOSTERING DEEPER CONNECTION WITH OURSELVES AND OTHERS.
By embracing the following practices, you may discover that you can navigate your dual roles with greater ease and find moments of peace in the midst of the busyness.
10 5-Minute Productivity and Mindfulness Tips to build calm and connection into your day:
1-5 Minutes of Deep breathing to cultivate mental clarity and resilience:
Create a bit of calm in the day if you’re feeling anxious or unfocused by setting a timer for one minute and focus on your breathing. Repeat your intention that you’re trying to center yourself to. This may be, “You only need five minutes to prep for the meeting, stay calm,” or “Let go of work, focus on being a great Dad.” Once this becomes more routine for you I bet you’ll be surprised at how quickly you can re-center yourself to the present. Sometimes it’s just seconds!
Make a list of items or tasks in routines to reduce distraction and forgetfulness:
ADHD brains have a tendency to lose focus over time and/or forget the details of the mundane parts of life. If you have a short list of tasks you do often then write it down and put it where you won’t forget it or where you will use it. Here’s two examples from my own life. One, I have a 3x5 card taped to the kitchen cabinets with the seven tasks of the morning routine for the dogs, my daughter, and my mother in law. If I ever forget a step or need to double check myself I can look at it. Two, at work, I would regularly have to check in with 15 different people under my purview. I kept a list of their names in a folio I carried around with me. Never again was I in a meeting embarrassed I didn’t know what was going on with my team.
To Consider: What short set of tasks do you do often that you sometimes forget a step? What about that morning routine of shower, meds, hair, deodorant?
Pro Tip: Put this list on the wall, on a computer screen, or in an everyday use spreadsheet. You want it to be a visual reminder that interrupts your field of vision. If you start to not notice this list over time because you’re used to it, then move it somewhere else.
Create Short, Structured Routines to enhance efficiency and reduce decision fatigue:
Having a routine at the start and end of the day can be made in five minutes by looking at what you’re already doing and auditing for improvements. An example of this routine could be a “before leaving work” routine where you double check with anyone or anything for needed info and possibly making reminders for the next morning. At home, this could look like a “wind down” routine to do something relaxing, check in with the family, and ensure you’re likely to get better sleep.
Example: “Wind down alarm @ 8:45, get kid into bed, check meds are taken, dogs last pee, grab a book or notes to work on.” That’s my evening routine. I have it on a card to remind me that sits at my desk so I remember it.
Pro Tip: Set an alarm as a backup in case you forget and include why. The ‘why’ can be a powerful tool. An alarm that goes off with “EXERCISE!” is less meaningful than, “Exercise to have energy to be a great Dad!"
Learn to take short breaks often to reduce anxiety, increase focus, and create mental stability:
ADHD brains have smaller gas tanks which means we need to take more breaks to replenish. You’ll know when this is happening when you’re trying to do the thing but your brain isn’t cooperating. It may look like staring at the screen at work, unable to get things done, or a lack of focus in a long conversation on the home front with family. A great remedy is a short break. Get up, stretch, walk around. Think of something fun or exciting you’re into. Then come back to the task at hand.
To Consider: What types of tasks require more breaks and which require less? Most often the task requiring less breaks is something you enjoy or find ease in doing.
Pro Tip: Use a timer to track how much time you spend on a task before hitting that mental fatigue point. Once you know how long it usually takes to need a break you can use the same timer to remind yourself to take breaks more often.
Embrace flexibility and adaptability to transition faster:
ADHD brains are known for being a bit inflexible at times and have difficulty transitioning tasks. Work and family often create stress around this issue so it’s good to come up with a few techniques for transitioning. Try writing down what you were doing so you can come back to it. Often people with ADHD will say that writing something down feels safer because they know they can come back to it and it won’t be forgotten. Another tactic is to practice mindful awareness to transition smoother. Taking a few seconds to calm your mind and refocus on an interruption can not only keep you calm but also help you refocus on the interruption.
Pro Tip: Saying words out loud can help you internally and show your intent to others. “Hold on. Give me one sec to refocus on you. I want to give you my attention. Okay go!” You’ve just told the person who needs your attention they are important to you. This connection works both in the work place and in family life.
Outsource and delegate to increase confidence, self care, and reclaim personal time:
People with ADHD can often be people pleasers or feel like they aren’t doing a good enough job if they don’t do it all. Not only does this slowly exhaust you but it also doesn’t strengthen relationships with the people around you. Delegating to others shows you have a trust in others both in work and at home. We also often feel good when we can take care of or help others we look up to or are in a relationship with.
To Consider: Do you feel good helping others? If you don’t ask for help you deny others that feel good feeling.
Prioritize healthy eating habits to maintain energy and positive mood and focus:
This one is a little misleading as it’s an indirect task to cultivate that productivity and mindfulness. I chose it because it’s often overlooked as a fundamental need but also because it only takes a moment to make a healthy choice. So why do we fail so often to do it? Because we forget why we are doing it. It helps to have a sticky or alarm to remind you to eat healthy. The reminder should include how you want to feel or who you want to be. An example could be, “Eat healthy for energy and focus,” or “Choose healthy so I feel great!”
To Consider: Where would this reminder help? Five minutes before a work mate asks, “Where do you want to get lunch?” Or possibly on your grocery list? Maybe literally on the cake in the fridge?! Be creative!
Prioritize tasks using a system that works for you to increase efficiency:
The ability to prioritize tasks is often hard for ADHD’ers. I struggle with this issue everyday. Focusing on only one or two, or whatever the minimum tasks are can keep it simple. We often get overwhelmed when we make too big of a list. You can also have a “Master To Do” list for the week and one per day. That way you’re not feeling deflated looking at the big list too often. I’m fond of the Eisenhower-Matrix. Don’t spend more than five minutes at a time working on a list if it starts to feel overwhelming. If you think you need more time then set a time in the week to do that master list. Say at the beginning of the week or month. Treat this as an experiment to relieve pressure on the outcome. Find what works for you.
To Consider: Do you know how long some tasks take you? ADHD’ers often feel time as an emotional sense. So, if something FEELS BIG you’re going to think it will take a lot of time. This means we are often inaccurate in our understanding of how long things take. When I or my daughter look at the dishes to empty in the dishwasher we FEEL a heavy sense of burden. The reality is it takes about two minutes to empty. What tasks do you do often that feel big but don’t take much time in reality? Try timing yourself.
Pro Tip: Having a “not now” list is ideal for ADHD’ers because we can get very enthusiastic about an idea or project and we don’t want to let it go. Or, we begin to feel deflated because the list is getting too long. Having a '“not now” list means it won’t be forgotten which people often find is easier than a “delete” or “don’t need to do,” list. Keep this in mind when you’re looking at prioritizing systems online.
Use your 5-senses to be mindful of the present:
If you’re having trouble keeping your monkey-mind from fomenting on the past or worrying about the future when you know you need to focus, try this technique. This only takes a few seconds to do, minutes at most. Look at the world around you and take note of the objects in it. Then consider how they feel, smell, and even what they may taste like. Doing this is proven to help pull you into the moment and reduce anxiety. (And no, you don’t literally have to do this, but I’m sure it will be entertaining to your workmates watching you smell the objects on your desk!)
Celebrate your successes to improve energy, strengthen habits, and feel damn good about yourself!
You may have noticed I mention how ADHD’ers are often mentally onto the next thing or somewhere else when they are working on a task. This can really get in the way when we complete something as we forget to celebrate our accomplishments. This is a dangerous habit to get into because we put our brain on a perpetual hamster wheel of “not enough” which can lead to depression and low self esteem. If there was one item on this list to scare you it’s this one. Pay attention to your successes. Bask in them for a few minutes. Did you do everything on your routine list? Celebrate! Did you spend two minutes focused on a colleague who interrupted you? Good job! Did you spend 15 minutes with your son at the end of the day watching “Card Battler Poke Ninja Storm? Good on you Dad!
To Consider: When faced with a difficult task you’re struggling to start, try reminding yourself of a past success with something similar. Does it make it easier to get started?
Pro Tip: If you have lists you check off or mark complete then put them on the wall where you work or discreetly on a Word doc to remind yourself you’re succeeding. If you’re tracking tasks on a Kanban board then keep those “completes” up on the wall longer. As parents we’re really good at celebrating our kid’s success on the fridge and we somehow forget to keep it up when we’re adults.
WE SPEND MUCH OF OUR DAY SURROUNDED BY REMINDERS OF WHAT WE HAVEN’T DONE AND NOT ENOUGH TIME SURROUNDED BY WHAT WE HAVE DONE.
Conclusion:
Navigating the challenges of ADHD as a busy working father can be extremely rewarding. Utilizing even the shortest of opportunities available to you can lead to great rewards both at work and at home. A goal I’ve had here is to show how the common productivity techniques you use at work can be utilized at home. And vice versa. Then we need to understand that being mindful in the time available to you becomes more rewarding in the workplace and in your personal life. Armed with these ten quick productivity and mindfulness tips, busy fathers with ADHD can seize the day, kick ass, and reclaim a bit of time, control, and calm in their days.
Remember, new habits take time. Start with seconds, then minutes, to be mindful or maybe make a productive ADHD’ified list. It's not about perfection, but progress. By implementing these strategies I hope you can cultivate some calm in life’s chaos. And don’t forget to celebrate, even a few seconds, of success!
I encourage you to take the first step today by choosing one tip from this list and committing to integrating it into your daily routine. Whether it's practicing mindfulness, creating a weekly and daily to do list, or spending a few rewarding minutes with family, remember that every small action counts. Especially to your kids and partner.
You’ve got this! And if you don’t, I’m right here to help out starting with a quick strategy. What would make the biggest difference in your life right now?
